Four Weeks

 It has been four weeks since I came back to the blog.

At present I am sitting back at the Center for Neuro Skills and trying to make a new understanding of what I now need to do. My insurance denied my payment for four weeks on the grounds that I was simply doing what they  deemed was "maintenance therapy." 

I was  not ready to return to work, and I could not even drive.

In truth I tried not to harbor resentment for my stupid insurance company.  Staying out of my wife's way was also very important, but for four weeks I tried to busy myself and assist her.  In many ways I tried to do excercise--which I had become accustom too.

The big thing I tried to do was not make a mess,  When she came home with the groceries I did my best to put them away for her.

It was a conscious attempt to prove my worth and ability to practice mindfulness.  I know my wife was thankful.

Between this time Margaret went back to work.  And while she went back to work I was left to myself--I tried to be useful and productive.

In all honesty I was a complete wreck. I shoved my walker in the corner and did not touch it for four weeks--at times I would ask my wife why my insurance would do this to me.

It was very hard to fathom why I was home.   Perhaps it sounds to a bit like whining, but I had not received my first disability check yet (my first comes in two days) but it was very hard to stay motivated.

I arranged my pills and did laundry for us.  I must have checked  my email a thousand times, but the important thing is I never gave up hope.  

My wife is by far the greatest saint on the planet.  Even now I am grateful because she put up with my insecurities and angst for the entirety of the four weeks.  She encouraged me to write and work.

When I returned to the center it was greeted by Sam who said that it sometimes happens. So after this I did my best to readjust.  I talked to many of my friends and my counselors and we picked up again as if no time had passed.

When I finally went to Physical Therapy I found that I had not lost any steps, but I told Katy that I knew I had not done enough on my insurance mandated vacation.  After a while we laughed as I told her that I knew Bruce and Gerald would kick my ass for not working out enough--and Katy would kick my ass when they were done.

Still we all laughed.  Four weeks later I am ready to work again--my recovery continues. . .

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