Lessons from the Golden Girls

You can learn so much from the Golden Girls.

There is a lot to learning about a brain injury.  From my time at the Center, I have learned much about my fellow patients in many new ways that help me know them more intimately.

Every day that I go to the center I meet a patients who teach me something important about myself and brain injury.

The person who taught me the most was Mike Greg. 

Mike Greg who taught me patience and kindness.

 

Mike taught me a lot about stroke patients. 

He taught me about filters and patients who lose the ability to filter the things they say.  

There were many times I understood better but it was not until my mandatory four week vacation that I began to watch or rather binge the Golden Girls, and I noticed that Sophia, (played by Estelle Getty,) the oldest golden girl, mentioned in the pilot had a stroke.  

It was only mentioned occasionally at first and only in the pilot.

Now, I watched the series for many years, but I never knew she had a stroke.  After having a stroke myself--this was groundbreaking news.

The general public only thought she was a funny, quirky and grumpy old woman who often said inappropriate, rude and truthful things.

In fact she is listed as simply outspoken--which does not remotely tell the audience what she went through.

So while I was away for four weeks I watched the Golden Girls and in the pilot they talked about Sophia and her stroke.

I was shocked that I never understood--that I did not think most people even understood that the stroke was integral to her character.

The words that came out of my mouth right then and there were "This explains so much."

And I do not think people understood.  They just thought she was an old grumpy lady. But I knew the writers were telling the truth and in that process they were creating art.

They did not mention Sophia's stroke for 22 episodes.

And this was not a time period--the late eighties where you could binge the episodes.

Now of course you can but it takes a keen eye to catch the brilliance of what the writers were trying to teach the viewers about her disability.

The truthfulness of Sophia's words even now teach me so much.  When Sophia says, "No you don't!" to Blanche (Rue McClanahan) I wanted to cheer her on.  

Blanche, of course, is very kind but she doesn't understand until later--the clip shown is a flashback.  Which technically comes before the first clip. but Blanche as she later explains to Rose (Betty White) that you simply do not really understand until you have experienced  it or experienced a person who has had a stroke.

The writers of this show strove for a truthfulness and beauty which seldom happens in art. 

The last clip tells me the most--because it teaches me so much about myself and going to the Center for Neuro Skills.  

Sophia proclaims proudly that she learned to walk, to talk and to make herself whole.

And she did it because Dorothy, (Bea Arthur) her daughter, loved her enough to stand by her and make her go to therapy.  

The beauty and truth Sophia presents can be felt by anyone who has had a brain injury--and the truth is that Sophia speaks the truth of brain injury.   She proclaims proudly that she did the hard work that healed her and made her whole and like her my wife Margaret was there for me.

You have to want to get better and you have to believe in your therapy.  

And just like Sophia I am going to recover.